When people think of self-care, they tend to think of massages and manicures and pedicures, and those are all good. But self care goes deeper than that. Here are ten ways to take your self-care deeper.
1. Have a relationship with God. When you have faith in man alone, you will continually be disappointed. But when you know that God will bring you the people you need, you know that your needs will be met, regardless of the limitations of man.
2. Allow for people who do not value your friendship and your time, to pass out of your life. When you get used to engaging with people who do not value you, you begin to not value yourself. Keep yourself surrounded by those who value who you are, and what you have to offer.
3. Do the things you want to do, regardless of whether other people endorse it or encourage it. Other people are not on your soul's journey. They are not looking at the same map, and can not determine what is the best direction for you.
4. Listen for the wisdom in your life. A friend was recently telling me how disappointed she was because she got a great internship and her friends did not celebrate with her. It is understandable that there are some hurt feelings there, but there is also a gift. The Universe is showing you who your real friends are. Be grateful for the one or two who do celebrate your blessings, remember who did not, and keep moving forward.
5. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. This is difficult for me, but the more difficult it is, the more important it is to practice it. I will spill a glass of milk and say to myself, "What the fuck, idiot." I don't think much of it and begin cleaning it up. Then I imagine myself saying that to a friend who spills something. It makes me laugh out loud to think of it because it is so ridiculous; what kind of an asshole friend would say that? And yet to myself ... all the time. We have to rewire these reactions and laughing about how ridiculously harsh it is, is a good start.
6. Allow yourself a voice. When you keep quiet about things you think are important, or you assume others are not interested in your thoughts, you tell yourself what you have to say does not matter. Speak your truth regardless of whether other people like it or not.
7. Decide on a purpose for your life. Don't buy into this notion that the purpose of life is to have fun. It's not. The Fruit of life is Fun. Enjoy it. But we are supposed to enjoy the fruit after the harvest. What are you harvesting? Your harvest will bring you more Joy and Peace than Fun ever will.
8. Think of someone you don't like, and then think about what they may have to teach you. People come into our lives for a reason, and you may not have to spend a lot of time engaging with them, but there may be a reason they have shown up in your world, and figuring it out may make you a better person.
9. Remember you are human. Sometimes we could have done better. But we are human, and as such we are sometimes weak, we have faults, we disappoint others and ourselves. It's okay. Try again tomorrow.
10. Manicure, Pedicure and Massage; sure, why not. They feel good and they help us get through our day; they make us feel "tended to." But make sure your self-care goes deeper than that.